thoughts on teaching
I don’t understand how teachers do it.
This Summer, I was given the privilege of teaching a group of kids, varying from wee fourth graders to tweens to hormone enraged freshmen, the basics of grammar and English. It was an 8-week program that allowed me to dip my toes into the field of education. I wanted to dip my toes, however, I somehow found myself splashing, knee-deep. From this experience and opportunity, I’m left with one question.
“How do they do it?”
New teachers always have a fire in their belly, especially ones fresh out of college. It is a desire to show the world that we can offer something to the world, to finally answer the snide remarks of “you majored in english? what are you going to do with that.” Its a fire that wants to torch the past filled with lousy, disheartened teachers—those teachers (if you can call them that) who lost the passion for their jobs years ago. We want to set it all ablaze, and yell emphatically, “I am not going to be like them!” From the ashes, we will rise and strive to be those few or even, that one, teacher or professor who lit the way for us to succeed. The one who still had that passion, that wanted to motivate you to succeed and to try.
“So how do they do it?”
Every day I left the classroom, I always walked away with a new lesson. I wish, from that very first day, I started logging my experiences. I’ve learn that there are as much failures as their are successes. We have a set curriculum, but we are allowed to supplement whatever we like, and also, try different approaches. Some things I introduced worked, and others failed miserably. It is in those defeats, I must learn from and try again. I learned that you can never leave a student alone for too long. If you ever have to ask them if they heard what you just said and they reply with an approving nod and a yes, then they definitely didnt listen to anything. I learned that being nice all the time can get you only so far. A friend is nice, but I should always be their teacher first. I learned that no matter what, there will always be a “star student” in any class, but you cant base your success off him/her. Regardless of who teachers, be it man, machine, or ape, that student will be a star. We must start from the bottom and judge our success from there. The difficult part is finding the medium—trying to keep the top students interested and the bottom students on pace.
“So how do they do it?”
I’ve felt the pangs of the job, the reality of it. Anyone that thinks our job ends when we leave the class room is a fool. All those assignments and grades and test have to come home with us too. I’ve spent many hours and nights correcting homework, making tests, preparing my lesson, and so on. Those are the hours that are unseen, and much more than I understood when I signed up for a 12 dollar an hour job. Now, I understand why all those teachers back in school complained about their salary. To say that we left work at 3 pm would be a lie. Work is always with us. People say, “just give them credit for assignments or just grade it later.” And yes… I have indulged in this brand of laziness. To say the least, I regret every bit of it. When we start to slack off and ease off, that’s when our students start to stumble. That’s when the teachers we thought we set ablaze before start to rise from the ashes and invade our dreams of being the good teacher. How do they manage to keep their sanity and spirits high?
“How do they do it?”
Its very frustrating to see your students forget things you have taught them many times. These moments, when they forget the lessons you taught, are crushing. When they say, “What is an intransitive verb” when that is all you have been teaching for two weeks, all I want to say to them is “I’ve failed you.” But, on the other hand, we also get what educators call “the ah-hah” moment—that moment where the students finally understand what you are teaching. Those little victories make everything worth it.
“So how do they do it”
I can handle the late nights and the extra time spent preparing and planning.
I can handle failed lessons and the disruptive students.
I can handle the students who crush your heart by saying, they havent learned anything.
I can handle quite a bit of stuff. What I cant handle and what this whole thing had led up to, is the good byes. Today was my last day and the goodbyes made me think and recollect. How do teachers handle saying goodbye every year to a new batch of students? They spend the whole year learning their names and habits and getting to know them. How do they say goodbye? I have spent only 8-weeks with my students, but I am sad we had to part. Today, while I was leaving, I didn’t remember the times I had to yell at the class for being disruptive, or the nights I didnt sleep because I was making the perfect test. No, not any of that. I just remembered I had a good time and these were an awesome bunch of kids.
I hope I keep this fire in my belly. I remember the first day of class, I told them to write about the quote on the board. I am proud I didnt give them a random quote I found in a book. It was quote that showed some spunk and which was dear to my heart. It read:
“Come as you are” - Nirvanna.
I want to keep this fire in my belly. Hopefully, I will be a good teacher. Maybe, one day I can pass the torch to another student with aspirations to do the same for another generation.
