Mr. Ta, the kindergarten teacher
It was an unforgettable experience.
Before teaching Kindergarten, I was assigned 3rd/4th graders. They gave me hell. Every day was a battle, and every day I lost. There were times throughout the week where I found myself sitting in my car, questioning my goals and whether or not I was any good for these kids. I yelled more than I taught. I frowned more than I smiled. I was disappointed in myself most days. My mind was consumed by the idea that everything that I had worked for, everything I believed I was passionate about was slipping away because I was too inept. They deemed me too nice, too soft, too kind—-and I was.
I dont like yelling. Once you lose their respect, its hard to regain it. Sure, they liked me as a person, but would they listen to me? I joked around and they laughed. I needed to be more to them. I have much to learn.
In attempt to create order, I was moved to kindergarten. They were amazing, and very funny. I enjoyed my time as a Kindergarten Teacher. However, the people from upstairs didnt think I was progressing enough.
I disliked many things about that job. The pay was practically slave labor. We had to spend hours creating garbage lesson plans. The administrators were jerks and never supported us for a second. The funding was terrible. When my kids needed things, when they needed pencils, I provided. The surrounding area scared me.
However, with all the dislike for the job itself, I miss those kids. Its amazing that they could be surrounded by so much violence and sorrow and still be able to maintain innocence. Those kinders always came in with a smile and they always wanted a hug.
I miss their smiles. I miss their exaggerated ooo’s and ahhh’s when I read stories to them. I miss their questions and ridiculous explanations for things. I miss showing them arts and crafts. I miss them drawing pictures for me. I miss those kids.
You can forget a lot of things in life, but its hard to forget the people you meet. I left the job feeling ambivalent about my future. I felt like a failure most of the time. However, parents told me they thought I was doing a good job—they said they saw improvement. My last day was a sad day. I hated to think that I would be yet another person in their fragile lives to walk away from them. A lot of these kids lack a male figure in their lives. I tried my hardest for those kids. I really did.
I have much to learn and experience. Either way, I will forever remember my time there.
Thank you Ms. Wong for being there too!
It was an unforgettable experience.
